KTV... once upon a time this word created waves in my small and undulating world... Friday last ktv became a crack on my fondest memories.

CHANGE....sometimes i really hate that word. Man is always trying to change the world and the people that live in it. Development is always seen as a good thing. a necessary thing. Technology, medicine, architecture, fashion...you name it. People are always trying to change one another. Girlfriends want their boyfriends to be more romantic, more sensitive....Boyfriends want their girlfriends to be less possessive, more submissive....Wives want their husbands to be cleaner and active in the household... Husbands want their wives to nag less, let go more... and the list goes on... Yet, the irony of it all is, deep down humans also rebel against change. Especially as we age. We hate having to GO THROUGH that change that, many a times, directly or indirectly we have caused ourselves. Quite a thought huh? And then there's the fact that we always try to change others, hate it when others try to change us and somehow cannot or refuse to change ourselves. Now THAT'S another thought huh?? Contradictory creatures us humans...

Uni days were my most memorable. Not many people get the chance to do what they enjoy doing most with like-minded people and having a goal and direction at the same time. By God's grace, i had that chance. I will always give thanks to God for placing me there, in my specific role and position. But last friday, this memory was marred by the sudden realization that things could never be the same again... Yes, obviously i do know that time can never go back. We could never return to where we were before. But it's disappointing..even devastating when you realize that even the people you knew so well to be a certain way with certain values could change. I dunno if going abroad to study changes your perspectives and values negatively or just that going abroad gives you a chance to reveal what you're really like inside and manifests what you really think inside. It's like a chicken and egg issue. I always think, perhaps if i were the one who went abroad, i would be that person that i dun wanna be. People i knew to be passionate about God, no longer are. People i knew who hated certain things (and for a good reason) now practise them. WHAT'S GOING ON MAN??! And these are people i looked up to at some point of time... It's like this wave of incredible sadness washed over me when that realization hit me. It would have been better if i never found out the change, that way i could keep those memories intact and it would always be sweet. But now that I know....

In the midst of change, you know what i find comforting? People and things that have not changed. That night, amidst the discovery of undesirable change, i also discovered a ray of light. A single friend i've not kept in touch with, nor seen much in recent years. (oh, and i dun mean he's single ok....i mean, he is, but that's out of the point) He was his same ole self. Still frank, cheerful, simple, loves God, enjoys singing...basically just enjoying the simple good things in life, including meeting up with old friends. He was the rock in my rocking world. And it felt even more comforting to know that i wasn't the only one thinking my weird thoughts. As i leant over to tell him how glad i was to find him his good ole self, he gave a peaceful, knowing smile and said,"I know exactly what you mean." Thank you God for the simple assurances you give in simple ways.