30 August 2006
posted by j at 8/30/2006 01:53:00 AM

What measures can be used to increase HDL levels?

Aerobic exercise. Many people don't like to hear it, but regular aerobic exercise (any exercise, such as walking, jogging or bike riding, that raises your heart rate for 20 - 30 minutes at a time) increases the HDL levels.

See full article

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There you have it.... So exercise DOES increase HDL. Cool. Better restart my exercise routine...
 
posted by j at 8/30/2006 01:39:00 AM

I like this article...something in this made me laugh. But mostly, i find such information interesting. Went for a health screening last year and was shocked to see that i had a cholesterol level bordering between normal and high. Started to get anxious, but then realised that it's because my HDL was REALLY high. Asked a doctor friend of mine what it all means, and she was surprised that my HDL was so high. Asked me if i exercised a lot. Strange. Didn't know exercise has any bearing on HDL level. Nothing mentioned in the article at least. Maybe i'll read up more. Meanwhile, waiting for my health screening report for this year to be out...

Oh, and i'm posting this article for someone's info...

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What are LDL and HDL?


LDL stands for “low density lipoprotein,” and HDL for “high density lipoprotein.” In the bloodstream, “bad” cholesterol is carried in LDL, and “good” cholesterol is carried in HDL. Most cholesterol in the blood comes from LDL. Only a small proportion is from HDL cholesterol. Thus, the total cholesterol level in the blood is usually a reflection of the amount of LDL cholesterol.

Why are high cholesterol levels bad?

When LDL cholesterol levels (i.e., the “bad” cholesterol) are too high, the LDL tends to stick the lining of the blood vessels, leading to the stimulation of “atherosclerosis,” or hardening of the arteries. Atherosclerotic “plaques” cause narrowing of the arteries, and lead to heart attacks and strokes. Therefore, an elevated LDL cholesterol levels is a major risk factor for heart disease and stroke.

Why is some cholesterol called “good cholesterol”?

Much evidence has now accumulated that increased HDL cholesterol levels are associated with a lower risk of heart disease, and that low HDL cholesterol levels are associated with an increased risk of heart disease. Thus, HDL cholesterol appears to be “good.”

Why is HDL cholesterol protective? Nobody knows for sure, but it appears that it’s not the cholesterol itself that is good, it’s the "vehicle." There is some evidence that the HDL molecule “scours” the walls of blood vessels, and cleans out excess cholesterol. If this is the case, the cholesterol being carried by HDL (that is, the “good” HDL cholesterol) is actually “bad” cholesterol that has just been removed from blood vessels, and is being transported back to the liver for further processing. Apparently, unlike some bad humans, bad cholesterol can be rehabilitated.

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hahahaaaa.....the body is SOoo amazing. It's like an intricate factory that runs by itself mostly, where everything fits perfectly and stuff are recycled and taken care of. Amazing.
 
29 August 2006
posted by j at 8/29/2006 02:02:00 PM

Aug 28, 2006
Barred Believer Sues Pastors for Defamation
By Ben Nadarajan

A DIFFERENCE in opinion over theology has escalated into a church-goer suing his pastors for defaming him in church.

Mr Lim Seng Hoo, a member of the Calvary Pandan Bible-Presbyterian Church since 1996, claims its leaders - senior pastor Tow Siang Hwa and pastor Quek Suan Yew - have tarnished his reputation.

In March, the church's Board of Elders barred the 50-year-old businessman from all church services for six months, when the threat of a lawsuit against them looked imminent.

The dispute arose from a translation of the Bible, the King James version, which the Pandan Gardens church has used for 27 years.

Over 20 English versions of the Bible exist. Some of the more widely used ones here are the New International and New Jerusalem versions.

Mr Lim, who read theology in a local bible college, believes the King James Bible - widely thought by theologians as the most accurate - is not as perfect as his pastors claim.

He made his view known to 60 church members following church service in July last year, by handing out copies of a petition for a public debate on the issue; he also e-mailed other church members.

Stinging responses came from the pastors via e-mail, church bulletins and sermons, which he felt hurt his standing as a businessman and a devout Christian.

In his statement of claim against the pastors, he said they had repeatedly run him down in church in front of people with whom his firm may have business dealings. His company distributes metrological instruments to the region.

In their written defence, the pastors, who have hired Harry Elias Partnership to represent them, said any damage to Mr Lim's reputation had been brought about by himself and that their actions had 'no consequence on his trade reputation'.

Mr Lim, who will be represented by Mr Chia Boon Teck and Ms Jamie Seah of Khattar Wong Partnership, claims his church friends have shunned him and discriminated against his four children.

He told The Straits Times that taking up a civil suit was a 'last resort', especially since he regarded senior pastor Tow as a father figure.

In the course of the dispute, he said, the insults had grown sharper. He listed some made by the pastors, which he felt caused him 'serious injury'. In particular, he was upset at being likened to Satan and referred to as an 'evil and sinister enemy'.

Senior pastor Tow said in his written defence: 'It is the teaching of the Bible that any attack on the members of the church and the pastors would be seen as a satanic attack, as Satan is the mastermind behind all disturbances within the church.'

He added that as senior pastor and church founder, he had to shield his flock from incorrect, divisive doctrines.

Mr Lim is also asking the court to quash his suspension from church, which he alleges was aimed at stopping him from presenting the church's accounts, which he audited.

He also claims to have found 'questionable' flows of about $450,000 from the church funds to the pastors.

Pastor Quek said Mr Lim had broken his vows to the church to submit to its leaders and not raise divisive issues.

In a statement to this newspaper, church elders said he failed to attend six counselling sessions following his suspension.

The statement also said it was a 'very sad day' when a church member took to suing his own pastors: 'Such an action is against the clear teaching of Jesus Christ in God's Holy and perfect Word.

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NAS 1 Corinthians 6:1

Does any one of you, when he has a case against his neighbor, dare to go to law before the unrighteous, and not before the saints? 2 Or do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if the world is judged by you, are you not competent to constitute the smallest law courts? 3 Do you not know that we shall judge angels? How much more, matters of this life? 4 If then you have law courts dealing with matters of this life, do you appoint them as judges who are of no account in the church? 5 I say this to your shame. Is it so, that there is not among you one wise man who will be able to decide between his brethren, 6 but brother goes to law with brother, and that before unbelievers? 7 Actually, then, it is already a defeat for you, that you have lawsuits with one another. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be defrauded? 8 On the contrary, you yourselves wrong and defraud, and that your brethren. 9 Or do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, 10 nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, shall inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, and in the Spirit of our God.

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Indeed it seems that, more and more, the unthinkable are happening. God's Day must surely be near. Let's hope and pray that this will not happen more and more in our churches. Such a bad testimony to the world and a big blow to the weaker ones amongst this church's congregation...
 
posted by j at 8/29/2006 12:04:00 PM

Mouth ulcers, also called canker sores, aphthous stomata and recurrent aphthous stomatitis, mostly occur on the inner cheek, inner lip, tongue, soft palate, floor of the mouth, and sometimes the throat. They are usually about 3-5mm in diameter - though sometimes significantly larger, and often appear 2 or 3 at a time - though sometimes there can be 10-20 or more.

The worst thing about mouth ulcers is the pain that they cause, which is constant, excruciating and made worse by eating, drinking and talking. The picture of the homunculus that you may recall from schooldays shows how very sensitive the mouth and tongue are compared to most other parts of the body - which explains the amount of discomfort caused by something so small.

Severe ulcers cause sufferers to actively avoid eating, drinking, talking, kissing and some sexual acts, which can be awkward socially. Speech is painful resulting in a loss of clarity or enunciation - and sometimes spitting, which doesn't help. Sufferers often get worn down by the pain and become fatigued and depressed, and so I have been told, irritable too.

No specific single cause has yet been isolated, though it seems they are not caused by infectious agents such as viruses or bacteria and are therefore not contagious.

The making of a mouth ulcer

Ulcers start as a result of physical damage (1) which is easy to see, or by an allergic reaction or auto-immune system response to chemical or biological agents (2).

1) Physical damage. Accidentally biting ones cheek or tongue, puncture wounds caused by objects such as sharp crisps.

2) For someone who has an allergic reaction or auto-immune system response to chemical or biological agents, these can initiate the formation of ulcers. The primary damage takes place underneath the surface causing cells to die within the connective tissue. Initially nothing looks or feels wrong until the damage reaches the surface and the ulcer suddenly ‘appears from nowhere’.

There is now a wound in the lining of the mouth caused by one of the events described above. In the mouth there are many good and bad micro-organisms and bacteria, which now have access to the wound surface. If too many bad bacteria get to colonise the wound, they take over, and produce toxins which in turn promote further cell death causing the ulcer to get larger (this is the stage it which it really hurts). Also at this stage the bacteria lining the ulcer surface can produce a fibrillous exudate which effectively makes a protective coating over their new home (this can often be seen as a whitish covering to the ulcer surface). This situation now continues until the causative agent is gone, and the body’s immune system comes up with the solution and the bad bacteria are quashed. How long this takes depends on many factors.

Protection

There are a number of ways of adding protection to make the lining of the mouth as healthy as it can be, and thus be best able to resist physical damage and the actions of undesirable agents (obviously I am not going to say eat healthily, keep fit, get lots of rest and avoid stress, because life just isn’t like that all of the time, or any of the time sometimes):

Amino acids are the building blocks of life, L-Lysine has been highly beneficial in many cases. Supplements containing a whole range of fundamental amino acids are also now readily available.

Avoid (or at least don’t over-use) mouthwashes and toothpaste with a powerful anti-microbial action, they will get rid of the good guys as well as the bad, so if the balance is bad, it will still be bad.

Avoid toothpaste with harsh detergents such as sodium lauryl sulfate (SLS).

B vitamins are generally cited as being beneficial, particularly B12. B vitamins are not stored in the body so choose a supplement with a prolonged or slow release.

Products containing hyaluranon (hyaluronic acid) actively assist in tissue regeneration and can prevent ulceration caused by physical damage, and help protect connective tissue from damage caused by undesirable agents.

Tip the bacteria balance in your favour by adding more good guys, acidophilus, natural yoghurt, pro-biotic supplements have all been beneficial. Products containing xylitol also help by getting rid of some of the bad guys (e.g. strep mutans which helps cause plaque and bad breath).

When you have an ulcer, if that whitish coating appears, and you can stand the pain, slough it off. ----OUCH!!
 
27 August 2006
posted by j at 8/27/2006 07:14:00 PM

Some days ago, because of a wake i attended, i thought about whether there'd be anything for people to remember me by when I leave this world. Today, during the sermon, a new thought came to me. What would God remember me by when my life on earth was done? Would He have anything to remember me by? Have i done anything for Him that He would regard as gold, silver or precious stones and not wood, hay or straw?
 
posted by j at 8/27/2006 06:19:00 PM

1)A friend recently wrote about an enemy that she's battling. And i realised that i've been getting bouts of it too. Yep, the common enemy that everyone falls prey too at some point of our lives. It's an irony isn't it? That one can feel lonely even in the midst of frens and family. In fact, i've realised that the more people are around (like in crowded shopping centres), the more lonely it feels. I wonder if it's an age thing. It's as if i've become more detached, as if seeing things from a third party's point of view. There are times i choose to be alone, away from other people because i feel like it, and yet at the same time, i feel lonely. Strange huh?

2)Now that i don't have a maid, i've been staying home more. More peace and yet, also more time alone. Everyone seems busy with their own lives and it sometimes feels as if it wouldn't make much of a difference even if i lived on a different planet. Have lost interest in most of the things i used to do in my free time. Ktv, sudoku, tennis...just don't feel like doing all those things anymore. Just wanna sleep, and sleep and sleep... and then the frustrating thing is that sometimes i just can't sleep. i start to ache everywhere and then i get these bad headaches and i can't even get any respite from that with the help of panadol. Maybe it's because i think too much. Maybe it's because of stress. Maybe i just want to be sick so that i don't have to work. Maybe i just want to stay home and bury myself in my bed. Sometimes thinking about the people around me give me a headache. Sometimes i really just want to uproot myself and go away somewhere to get some fresh air and do things i've never had the chance to do. To meet different people and see different things.

3)I sleep too much. i'm beginning to realise that it's become my way of escape. i'm so tired of the things i'm doing that i need to escape from it all. And being too tired to physically go anywhere or do anything, i end up going to bed. But sometimes, sleeping too much just makes me feel sick and headachey. And then, i start to regret sleeping so much and i also start to wonder what i could have better spent all that extra time. Then, i'm reminded of all the work i should have done, and i just want to sleep some more. As if the work would complete itself.

4)I need to find a better sleeping position. i've been getting all these aches and pains. My neck, my shoulders, my back, my arm.... sigh. I'm not even sure if it's just my sleeping position or does my pillow have something to do with it. And my headaches....are they a result or stress, bad sleeping positions, oversleeping, pms or WHAT???! Maybe i have a tumour...

5)I miss.....

6)Why do i let people and things get to me? It doesn't profit me, makes me think too much, gives me a headache and is a waste of time. I really must get over these things. But how?? If only i could reboot....or reformat. Touch of a button. Fat hope.

7)I had a bad dream. I dreamt I went on a short trip with a big bunch of people to Msia. On the way back after the trip, we stopped over at a place where people could hire little boats to go out on the lake. Strangely, i was alone. Couldn't find any of my friends. But i wanted to go on the boat ride anyway, so i queued up. Behind this family of 4 whom i knew. Father, mother and 2 children. The third and youngest child wasn't with them. And even though i was alone, i couldn't join them because the boat could only take 4. I remember going on the boat alone. I couldn't remember much of the ride itself though. The dream fastforwarded itself to several days later. A news report was made over the telly. A family of 4 was reported to have drowned while on a boat ride at the very same lake i had my boat ride. Nobody seemed to know who this family was. They were unidentified. And at that moment in my dream, the horror of it all struck me. I was sure that it was that family i knew. And it baffled me that no one could identify them. Off i went, to tell everyone the truth. I just cried and cried and cried. I felt as if i never cried so much in my life. And i wasnt sure why. I mean, i knew them, but i wasn't THAT close to them. But i guess part of the reason why i was so upset was because i felt very very sorry for the third child who was now all alone in the world. A young boy without any family. Urgh. Even right now the thought of it makes me sad. I remember being soooo overwhelmed by sadness in the dream. And it was so REAL. I refused to believe it was true, and yet i knew in my heart that it was. I even went round asking friends of the family if they had seen this family around. Maybe i had been mistaken. I made calls and asked questions. And when nobody had apparently seen them, and people expressed puzzlement because they didn't appear when they said they would, then i was sure that it was true. It was them who drowned in the lake. I felt so so sad. Even moments after i woke from that nightmare, it still felt so real. I really wanted to call someone to make sure it was just a dream. At some point of the dream, i couldn't even tell whether it was a dream or reality! The lines were really blur. But then, as most dreams do, the REALness of it all faded as the day passed. Shudder. I was really glad to see them in the flesh today. I'm so glad they're ALIVE. And i suddenly felt this impulse to hug the mother of the family today and get to know them better, because that's what i regretted not doing in the dream. I regretted not talking to them more or knowing them better.
 
23 August 2006
posted by j at 8/23/2006 11:14:00 PM

Tonight, i attended the wake service held for a good friend's father. Though i wasn't close to his dad, i did know that he was a person who was always cheerful and full of jokes to tell. When he was first struck with illness and had to have an op done, i visited him at the hospital with some other friends. Because i knew him to be someone who loved singing and music, i felt that perhaps this op which removed his voicebox would be somewhat of a blow to him. I'm not sure what i expected to see at that point of time, whether it was a man in a state of depression or even in a foul temper, i know i definitely did not expect him to be cheerful and at ease in spite of his discomfort and inability to talk. I remember that he was responsive and even cheerfully initiated conversation (scribbles on the pages of a notebook). He didn't talk about any pain or discomfort that he was suffering from, nor did he grumble or lament about his condition. In fact, if i don't remember wrongly, he was even making jokes on paper and gesticulating wildly to emphasize his point! Can't help but admire his fortitude in battling cancer for more than 2 years and his cheerfulness in the midst of his suffering. I know it musn't have been easy for both him and his family.

His daughter gave a good eulogy tonight. All of us got a glimpse of what he was like. A loving and fun dad, a hard worker, someone whose ingenuity was used to benefit those who needed it. An initiator of many activities which required giving instead of taking. I wish i knew him better. More so, i wish i had visited him once more before his passing.

Tonight's wake service was very different from another i attended not too long ago. At least to me it felt that way. Many people painted different aspects of his jovial character. All different in some ways because he played different roles in different domains. And yet, they were also the same. He was a man loved by many because of who he was, how he was to people and what he did for others. He gave much and that's why people have so much to remember him by. Everyone had something good to say about him. This contrasted with other wakes i've attended where people can only described the deceased in neutral terms. As one who was a certain way and did certain things, but could not attach any significance or relationship to those vague descriptions. To be fair, of course, that could very well be the 'fault' of the person giving the eulogy, having not been endowed with strong powers of description. Or of course, the other possibility is that the deceased did not have very many intimate relationships with people around. Regardless of what the reasons might be, it got me thinking about my life.

What would people say about me and my life when my time comes? Have I spared the time for and made sacrifices for people who needed it? Have i given more than i received? Would there be more good things for people to remember me by or more negative ones? Would i be remembered only for the scoldings i gave and not the praises? Have i made any sort of impact on anyone's life that would have a lasting or even eternal effect? Seriously, i think not.

It would be sad, wouldn't it? If we passed away, and people around us were at a loss for words to describe us and our lives in a positive way? Perhaps it's time to think about what i can do for others instead of sitting in my hole trying to feel less tired. These days it takes almost all my energy to do what needs to be done and then to fight lethargy. It's time to think about what i can do that will have an eternal impact on someone else.

Crap. All that thinking has made me hungry.
 
22 August 2006
posted by j at 8/22/2006 04:55:00 PM

Always thought you were a FAKE. Now I know you're not only a FAKE, you're a childish one at that. It's hard to believe you are your age. It's even harder to believe why someone like you can get so many people to dance to your tune. Not just your 'family' of believers. Sometimes even the e____s. It's unbelievable! How can people be so blind?? You know what else puzzles me? Why ______ would put someone so power hungry in charge of the young....and most of all, how a person could seemingly instil fear in people and make some even bend over to his/her whims....

It really baffles me. What and who gave you authority to strike fear into the hearts of God's children? I'm worried. Worried about the minds of the young people over whom you have influence. I can only trust that God will protect His own.

H said rightly, that though people are blind now, TIME WILL TELL. I just wish it was sooner. For the sake of the young. But then again, God's timing is always perfect. I just have to be patient. Some may think i'm being too harsh. Too unloving. I've already more or less detached myself from THAT scene. He/she can do what he/she wants. I just take it as noise. But when it comes to influencing others who may or may not be old or spiritually mature enough to think for themselves, I not only worry, I start to feel protective. And it irks me that i can do nothing about it. You know, from the actions and words of this person, I'm not sure if he/she is from the fold. But I should not judge. Time will tell.

As i was pondering of the apparent helplessness of the situation, i was reminded of the God whom we serve. Hey, our God is the same One who parted the Red Sea. Know how big a sea is? Well, I can only imagine. A God who is capable of rolling back the waters and holding them there for an entire nation to cross over, is surely more than able to fix ANY situation. So just gotta be patient.

I just hope i won't choke while vomitting blood meanwhile....
 
19 August 2006
posted by j at 8/19/2006 11:21:00 PM

I've been doing a lot of housework lately. Okay...maybe not as much as some people. But more than what i usually do. For the info of those not in the know, i'm currently maidless. So i have to do all the cleaning myself. And since now i have my own bathroom, the extra cleaning also comes with the extra territory.

One of the first few things i was dying to clean was my mirror. The nice big one in my bathroom which also acts as the door to the toiletries cupboard, the same one that i can get my face nice and close to for careful inspection when necessary. Problem with its close proximity to my face is that every time i wash my face, water splashes on the mirror and in doing so, eventually leaves water marks on the mirror when it dries. After about a week of splashing, you can imagine how much i longed to give the mirror a good wipe. So last Sat, armed with my Fairprice glass cleaner and some old newspaper, i marched up to my mirror and 'scrubbed' it down enthusiastically till it was sparkling clean and spotless. I even stepped back to admire my handiwork. "Perfect!" I thought.

The next morning, as i was about to wash my face, I stopped short and frowned. (At this point of time, I should tell you something about me. You know how kids don't realise how difficult money comes by till they actually start working for it themselves? Yeah, its the same with me. I didn't realise how tough it can be cleaning the house till i had to do it myself. As such, i now feel the intense need to keep my room and bathroom as clean as possible so that i don't have to suffer so much when cleaning it.) In view of the background to my psyche, it shouldn't surprise you that i now felt the intense need to allow my mirror to stay as spotless for the longest possible time so that i could delay cleaning it. Hence, i very carefully and gingerly dabbed water on my face, so as to prevent any splashing. That, of course, meant a slightly longer face-washing time, and a less shiok one at that. After a few days of unshiok washing, a thought came to me. Gee, it only takes ONE splash to taint the mirror and i'd have to clean it. Any and every mark would show. I could keep it spotless as long as 10 days? 15 days? Then as soon as i 'miscue', there you go... no longer spotless. And then, the question was, how long could i keep this up? Gee...so much effort everyday could go into not splashing and yet, it just takes one day...one splash.....

And then, for some strange reason, another thought hit me...and i know it's abit far off, but then, i can't exactly stop these thoughts from coming right? I thought,"This sound awfully like SIN, doesn't it?" I mean, sure, you could put in all your effort into stopping yourself from doing the right thing, but how long can you keep it up? And it doesn't matter how long you've kept yourself from sinning. Just one slip and your slate is tainted. Doesn't matter whether it's one sin or two or three, you've still sinned, and will go to hell if you don't have the blood of Christ to wash you clean.

That's what the Bible says God's standard is you know. NOT ONE SIN. For us to go to heaven by our own merit, that's what it takes. Can we do it? Sure, maybe we could keep ourselves from sin a day, two days? Maybe even a week or so. But how long can we keep it up? One sin. That's all it takes.

This isn't something new. I've always known it. It's been drilled into my head by my Bible teacher, Cecilia. But i guess, it's a good reminder for me. A reminder to be thankful for what Christ has done for us on the cross. I could never remain sinless and go the heaven based on my own works. Just as i could never keep up with washing my face gingerly everyday so as not to splash water on my mirror. And knowing that i have the glass cleaner doesn't mean that i splash all i want recklessly and liberally. I still try as much as possible to minimise the splashing, it's just that i don't have to worry about permanently staining or dirtying the glass, simply because I have my Fairprice glass cleaner...=)
 
09 August 2006
posted by j at 8/09/2006 01:34:00 PM

My belle...

We go back a long way....I remember the first time i met you. You were in your JC uniform. Wasn't sure what to make of you. Other memories include hearing your loud commanding voice shouting at R from time to time. "LIANG!", you would go, defying him to disobey you. I would almost shiver in terror upon hearing your loud roar, often suppressing the urge to look at your face whenever you barked a command at R. In all honesty, i must admit that while i didn't exactly have a bad first impression of you, neither did i have a good one. I always thought that it must have been difficult for R to have a third parent in the house, on top of the usual two.

In the few years that ensued, my mind draws a blank. I only vaguely remember you as a sporty person, capable of playing all sorts of sports with mean vigour. I remember you playing basketball with a mean throw and with no fear of bashing your way through a line of guys. I did not fancy playing against you. You were always, when in a rivalling team, a force to be reckoned with, not just among the girls, but among the guys as well. And you know what, i think the guys felt that too. You were, i think, in my mind always strong. In personality and in will. And i think, that is something that will not change with time. And i think, that is one of the reasons why i admire you so much.

During uni days, although we were in the same uni and serving in the same campus ministry, we were both very busy in our own domains. We didn't spend much time hanging out, though from time to time i remember dropping by your hostel room for a chat or a visit. I remember marvelling at how cosy you always manage to make your room look and feel, and how people around always love dropping in on you to say hi. In that time, i think we both kinda disappeared from serving in church because of all our campus ministry and commitments, but i was glad that we both stuck on and never left Glory. We continued to hold on to Glory and to YF/YA in spite of the fast-departing numbers.

I think towards the end of uni days, we both returned to choir. You first i think. You made choir a lot more enjoyable. We were the only two altos. Strange thing was, we both weren't REAL altos. We volunteered because there was a shortage and on some level, i think we both wanted the challenge. It was DEFINITELY more difficult singing the alto parts. But i really enjoyed it, esp with you there. Together, i think we were louder than the sops combined sometimes. Haha...But of course, i'd attribute that to your God-given volume in voice. I could never compare with you. Hee. Around that time, i think we were also teaching in the Sunday school together. You were in there first, and i came in on 'probation'. Happily attached myself to your class and we had such great fun laughing at the antics and eccentricities of our kids. Oh, speaking of which, i suddenly remembered the time we were both sitting in a pool (was it A's pool??) and you suddenly blurted out this question that gave me a shock. Ha....do u remember? I shan't say it out now =) But i remember i said, "Err....aren't u skipping a few steps here??" Heh. I shall always remember our Sunday School teaching times....the songs, the actions, the bible stories....all these i enjoyed all the more because you were there with me...

Then came the dark ages...This was when you were in TP and in your first year of teaching afterward. I was in NIE. You made me feel quite scared when you went into your crying fits. I remember that you were really having a bad time, and i started to wonder if i had made a mistake signing the bond.....i remember sending you home in my car, our long talks about everything and anything. I remember our crying in the car, talks about our struggles and love-lives, whether bad or non-existent. It was about this time, that we came to the conclusion that it was time to have a cg. For sharing and for accountability and growth in Christ. I think we talked about it many times before it was finally put into action. And i was glad when it finally materialised.

Ahhh....CG times. So memorable. Getting used to one anothers' antics and eccentric behaviour didn't take all that long. CG was always a laugh. I really enjoyed it. Though there were times of tension, we grew closer and the time of bonding was really great. I learnt a lot from you, and i saw how you grew rapidly in the Lord. You were no longer the same bespectacled girl in JC uniform that i knew from YF times. You had matured and toned-down into a godly woman. A woman after God's own heart. An encourager and one i could turn to in times of need. You were such a comfort and support to me, in more ways than you knew. Having you around always made me feel more comforted. It wasn't until reality set in, when you no longer appeared in CG, that i realised your role in CG. You were the pillar. A strong, reassuring one. I shall miss you very very much in the time you're not here.

I shall miss your laughter, no one else's laughter could compare with mine and overpower mine. Together we make the invincible duo. I shall miss your cooking...your cookies, popiah parties, soba, baked salmon.....I shall miss going to your house any and every time i need to talk to you.....i shall miss nuahing with you at your house, watching vcds and laughing at stupid people doing stupid things on tv.....i shall miss suan-ning pple like H with you and going into fits of laughter over her cluelessness and lost and helpless expressions. I shall miss the wordless communication with you, how we can miraculously understand what each other is thinking without having to say it.

Dear Michelle, though i can't say that life can't go on without you, i can say (and i know)that life will be very different without you, your laughter and your love. I know that God has a purpose for you and i know that your life will never be the same again after your two years of service in Thailand. We will support you in whatever way we can, and visit your family in your absence. Sorry in advance, for the times we can't be physically there for you when you're lonely, upset or need a shoulder to cry on. But i know God will supply for your every need in ways you can't even begin to imagine. Dear friend and sister....you don't have to worry that we'll forget you as life goes on back here in Singapore without you. You have a place in our hearts that will never disappear though you're not physically here. I love you very very much, and i know many others do too. So don't you forget that. If you don't mind my long emails (you know how long-winded i am), i'll update you on every detail in my life. Down to the growth of my little toenail, if you wish. Heh.

Take care of yourself my dear...don't overwork yourself as you often do. Give our love to that Thais too...

*hugs*
jas