24 January 2005
posted by j at 1/24/2005 06:30:00 PM

Always dreamed of doing THAT. Never had the guts and never thought about how to go about making it a reality. Not a big dream. Just a dream. Something i wonder about a lot. Mebbe less now cos somehow as we age, dreams seem less real. Less possible. Then perhaps if and when we do marry and have kids, we force these dreams upon our kids...make them fulfil what we could not. Hmm.. Once, i plucked up the courage to try, just a small step in a small way. Many aspects. Many ways of starting to do down that road towards that dream you know. Short of it is, i failed. Did badly because i was not confident. A friend asked me to try again. I'm still considering. It's been 4 months since that first failure. Then again, i'm not sure if it's something God would want me to do. If i were to try again, i'd have to put in some time to...kinda prepare. Not sure i have that. Time is a luxury now. So tired now. Not sure I can drag myself to do that prep and put myself through failure again. Is it that important? Are there other ways to dream? Can i make up for the rest and sleep i'll have to forgo if i wanna go through with it? I dunno. Need to think. *dribbles incoherently*
 
7 Comments:


At 4:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous

Say, what happened to the tagboard? Did you get my msg yesterday?

-H

 

At 8:59 PM, Blogger Alex

pray tell, what is THAT?

dreams... once i had many, now i have some, soon i'll have few, then i'll have none... hopefully cos some get realised...

 

At 2:39 PM, Blogger j

H>>Huh? wat u mean? wat happened to my tagboard? oh yah i asked u abt more details..how come i din hear abt the camp? not sure if it'll burn up my weekend. when is it again?

 

At 2:40 PM, Blogger j

A>>THAT is ...kinda a secret right now..heh. But if i told u, u'd prob either think i was an airhead or just go "Orhhh..."...heh

 

At 3:22 PM, Blogger Alex

hee... with the analytical mind i have, i already thought of a few possible things that THAT could be... but i can't think of anything that would make me think "airhead"... "orr" is quite possible...

 

At 12:38 PM, Blogger j

just out of curiosity..what might hte few possibilities be?

 

At 12:45 PM, Blogger Alex

hee... now that i re-read ur blog entry, i am not quite sure what u were referring to... on first reading, was influenced by "4 months since that first failure"... so i thought back 4 months to abt oct... i thought u were referring to a certain relationship... now i read it again i really can't think of anything cos not too long ago i had no idea what u were going thru in life...