One thing i feel that God is speaking to me about is sensitivity to God's speaking...As i read Hudson Taylor's biography, it struck me how all these God-fearing men and women knew exactly what was on God's heart, what they were each specifically called to do in each occasion and how to go about doing it. These were BIG plans they were hatching to reach out to people, pioneering plans that none had gone about doing before. Yet, they were sure and confident of what God was calling them to do. No ambiguity.

I thought about the many times in my life when i felt confused, not knowing what God wanted of me. Reached many crossroads and did not know what God wanted me to do or where he wanted me to go. Perhaps some would say that there are many things that God says nothing specific about because He gives us the choice when it concerns a non-essential issue. I dunno, but i can't help wishing i were like these spiritual giants that i read about, knowing exactly what is on God's heart.

Another thing that i feel God has been impressing upon me is prayer. This happened thru reading Hudson Taylor as well as thru a recent sermon that Eric preached. Prayer is the offering up of our desires, according to God's will, in the name of Jesus Christ, with the confession of sins and in thankful acknowledgement of His mercies. It may not have been exactly what Eric said, but i think that is the gist of it. I believe that the reason why godly christians are able to know God's heart is because they are committed to prayer. Prayer to these missionaries was not a lip-service paid out of duty (the way we do sometimes). Prayer was asking from God their Father in faith, and believing that they would receive because they were asking in accordance with God's will. And it is amazing.. Because God does answer prayers! And in the most astounding ways sometimes. I admire so much the faith that these missionaries have. Someone once said to me, "they (as in the missionaries) have no choice but to believe and have faith." I thought about it and i don't quite agree. They do have a choice. They have the choice to not have faith, to not believe, and therefore to give up. But they did not choose to do that.

God's promises are so wonderful. When you give unto Him, He blesses you even more than what you expect. So many examples of when Hudson Taylor gave unto his brethren who needed money more than he did (and he only had enough money for 1 more meal), he gave and was provided for, more than what he gave. Don't you think this differs much from our current mentalities? The mentality that we grew up with...take care of ourselves first, want to give, give the extras. No extras? Then don't give. I confess, I struggle with this too.

It is all linked, don't u see? We should pray, believing that we will receive if it is in accordance with God's will. How to know God's will, what's on His heart? Pray, commune with Him, read His Word.

It's so clear and yet, at times, so hazy. Need to chew on this somemore. Looking forward to continuing with the book. Am at the part where he sets up CIM (China Inland Mission). Feel the excitement he must have gone through. The kind that takes your breath away, like when a cold wind blows past.