1. "You need to have good classroom management! How can you teach if you don't manage the classroom??" ----funny, never thought a classroom could be managed. Thought it'd be the class that needed managing. oh well..

2. "Students changing in the changing room, pls come out now. I repeat again..." ------ when will people learn that you either repeat, or say things again...can't do both....

3. "Students! The bus will be leaving in 30 seconds time! Pls board up the bus now! ----- ?? WHY??? so no one can look out??

4. An irate elderly teacher says..."Students NOWSADAYS Ahh...." -----Gosh!...now i know why my students say that....

5. "Now class, I want you to focus on your work and finish the worksheet Arse Soon Arse Possible..." *giggles from the class, who repeats this to every single teacher who walked in after this episode* ----- yes, i had a really hard time teaching them grammar after this, because every time i said they had to remember to put 's'es after verbs following singular subjects, they just cracked up!

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Note:
In case anyone is even vaguely interested in what i was talking about in the last point above, singular subjects would refer to words like He, She, It....etc.
Verbs that come after these subjects/pronouns would have to be in singular form, i.e. with the 's'. E.g. He eats, She jumps, It talks.....As opposed to He eat, She jump, It talk......which are wrong......Get it??