Anyway, this class of mine came to my thoughts today. They were taking their Art and Maths paper today and i was invigilating. Invigilating, btw, has got to be the biggest waste of time. I could have more fun watching my toenails grow. Anyways, I started thinking about the stupid kinda things that happened in my time with them over the past 2 years．
Scene 1
I was walking past their classroom one bright, sunny day...i looked in and lo and behold, i saw a couple of the boys frantically squirting water out from their water bottles with what looked suspiciously like enthusiasm. As a result of their squirting, there is a large puddle of water on the floor. I looked up and squinted at the walls, curious to know what in the world they were squirting at. I saw a dark yellow patch of dubious liquid on the wall. Being well-equipped with a good dose of common-sense, i assumed it was paint, assumed those fellas had been playing with paint after their art lesson and had vandalised the walls in the process. (i wouldn't put it past them to have thrown paint on the walls on PURPOSE). I asked them what they were doing.
"Cher, trying to clean the wall lah!"
"What is that on the wall?? Paint ah?"
"No...curry...."
"WHAT THE.....??!!"
Scene 2
I walk into class with a head-full of rebonded hair. Wolf-whistles sail thru the air to my disbelief. I'm a TEACHER!!!
Anyways, i stand stonefaced in front of the class waiting to be greeted. One student quips,
"Cher, you getting married ah??"
My response: ????!?? "What rubbish are you all talking about??"
"Teachers like the rebond their hair when they get married mah...So, who are you marrying??"
"???? I'm not getting married lah! Stop talking rubbish!"
"Oh teacher, you marrying Mr Tan ah...."Frantically scans my brain...who in the world is Mr Tan?? Hey...waitaminute, there's NO MR TAN!
"Where got Mr Tan in this school?!?"
In my haste and confusion, i start talking like them.
"Who's Mr Tan???"
"Who's Mr Tan? The one you're marrying lor!"
Arrrgh...this is one battle i SOooo can't win.
Scene 3
I am in the midst of my droning. I pause for a moment and am about to continue when i notice something is not quite right. I take a quick glance round the class and i stare curiously at one of the students. What is that THING??? Like one of those game machines you see at the amusement arcades, you know, the kind that has like 5 'gophers' or something like that, popping in and out of the machine while you hammer at them valiantly, mercilessly, albeit to no avail sometimes. Ya, so like that machine, i saw a tiny needle-like object popping in and out of a student's mouth with alarming velocity. Somewhere in the vicinity of the chin area. I thought i was seeing things. I started to stare. The student suddenly became aware of impending disaster and stopped the activity abruptly. But it was too late. Doomsday had come for him. *heh* With an alarming snarl i pounced on him and demanded to know what that thing was and what it was doing in his mouth. To cut the long story short, i made him spit that disgusting object out and was going to bring it down to the DM for confiscation. But being the kind soul i am, i returned it to him after much beseeching, begging and grovelling, on condition that i never saw it in his mouth during class again. I promised that if he broke that rule, i'd be sure to throw that disgusting object out of class, mouth, boy and all...
Scene 4
It is their final lap. The N level paper. It is the final day of the exam and there are 2 papers. Art in the morning and Maths in the afternoon. There is a 4 hour break in between papers. The students happily go off for lunch after the Art paper and returned punctually for the 2nd. One, however, looks strangely like a ribena berry. Boys, having not been blessed with the privilege of wearing their locks long, are highly conspicuous when the colour of their face or neck deviates from the norm. Being black and dirty in one thing, the norm i might say, afterall, they're such dirty creatures. ha... But being beet red is quite another matter. His entire face, neck and ears were all RED! The paper had already started, scratching sounds could be heard of pens on paper. The students were all scribbling their answers with gusto, eager to finish the paper, except ONE. His beet red head was lolling around precariously on his beet red neck. In a couple of minutes, his head collapsed on his table in drowsy stupor. I strode briskly to his table, rapped him on the head with his ruler, and was greeted with a wave of foul-smelling ..... alcohol??! My gosh! Is he.....DRUNK???!
He admitted he had two beers. Sigh. So smart of him to drink just before the last paper when he could have waited a few more hours till the end of the papers and drunk all he liked at home. As a result of his genious, he attracted hordes of teachers, HODs, the P and VP....all came in disbelief and for discipline purposes. Dunno what became of that guy eventually. Dun think he cares either.
Epilogue:
Brilliant eh, this class? Their antics are hard to believe, sometimes hard not to laugh at. i've had many a guffaw, as well as a good jaw about them. Will kinda miss them when they're gone. But then again, there're also a lot of things i won't miss =)
