Started the day with a bout of gastric that would not go away. Hadn't had it for some time, so had no idea where i left my medication. Made me feel very sick. Pukey. And not to mention grumpy. Sigh. My students weren't on their best behaviour to top it off. Made them sit on the floor cos i told them that if they wanted to behave like monkeys, i'd treat them like monkeys. And monkeys dun get to sit on chairs. Nor use tables. Also drove the culprits who didnt finish their work out of the class till they completed it. That kinda did the trick, cos when i went into class the second time, they were seated quietly doing their work. Such a miracle for a class like mine. Sometimes feel like a dog. Always have to bark at them. They probably think i love doing that. Yah right. It irks me that they dun seem to have the right perspective of their exams. Their next paper is on fri and they can still look so relaxed and play their free time away. GRRRRrrr...

Couldn't tahan gastric in the end. Got permission to go home to rest for a bit. Came back in the early afternoon for n level invigilation. Felt real bloated and sick till i took my ginger pills. Kinda works, it does. Now staring at my pile of marking and wondering if i can get it done by tmr. Sigh. Hate marking summary. Just a mass of words that makes my mind whirl.

Hmm...kinda think of it, this is one of the few times i'm blogging with nothing in my mind i really wanna say. Think i'm just wasting time so i dun have to mark. Keep feeling lethargic and sleepy and without motivation these days. This is probably gonna be the most boring blog entry EVER! Arrgh....

Am trying to enforce the notion of TRUST in class. Instead of threatening and scolding them (actually u can never really get away from scolding them lah..), i asked them if i could trust them to do their work on their own even when i'm not there (had to invigilate mah..)Sometimes it works. And i'm glad when it does. But conversely, when it doesn work, it makes me feel i can't trust them.

There's this particular boy in the next door class. I'm form teacher of E class. This boy is in D. Started absenting himself for no reason and for a long bout of time. When i finally saw him, he had lost quite a bit of weight and i actually felt xin tong. Asked him what happened, he said he was beaten up by his gangster brother for being rude to his parents. Sheesh. So unbelievable. He disappeared again after a while. I learnt that he had been running away from home and that he was on very bad terms with his family. I felt it was such a pity cos i know he's capable of good work. He had never given me any probs all along till now. Now all his teachers are after him for work and tests that he didn't take. Poor chap. Decided to have a talk with him yesterday. Asked him to be frank with me and tell me what was really the matter. He admitted that he was on very bad terms with his parents and that he had played truant on 2 days. Asked him to put himself in his parents' shoes and to be more understanding. Also told him that i wanted to see him graduate at the end of sec 4 with flying colours and not drop out becos of this. Told him also that he had potential to be a student leader and contribute to the school, and that i wanted to be proud of him. And u know what? i think he was listening. i dunno if one day i'd be disappointed, but i think for now, i choose to believe him.

Went to the pantry for recess after that and all the teachers who taught that class had a conference about him. His form teacher was convinced that nothing good wld come out of him. When i told her that he had promised me to take his english test today, she was sure that he would not turn up. I was obstinate. I said i'd trust him this time and see. And u know what? He came today =) I'm glad.

Had another talk with him before his test. Asked him where he went when he ran away from home. He was honest (i think). Told me he slept at a playground. I did the necessary teacher-talk about that and then told him about TRUST. Told him that there were people who didn't think he would come today, but i trusted him becos he promised to come. But also told him frankly that if he didnt turn up today, he'd have broken my trust and i would not be inclined to trust him again. Told him nicely not to ever break my trust in him. So lets just see how things go...=) crossing my fingers and praying hard.

Then there's this other boy in F class. All the teachers hate him. I din like him either but then, there was something about this boy. Kinda see a challenge in him. Feel also that he responds very well to praise, but becos of his terrible behaviour, everyone only scolds him. Yesterday, he was at it again. I pulled him out of class along with the other noisemakers. (I don't teach this class, i was next door) Talked to him one-to-one about how irritated i was with him. Told him very frankly how shitty the life of teachers can be and how many things we had to do....yadayada... Asked him to be more considerate because his behaviour did not just concern him, it affects the rest of us, including the teachers, so would he please be more considerate. Wat say...he actually listened. And when i asked him what i told him, he could actually remember! hmmm...am pleased. Of course i dun expect perfect behaviour from him, but i'm just glad that there's some positive response. I believe in giving people second chances, in spite of the little devil in my head that says otherwise.

Think i need to remind myself now and then of these little perks in working life. Otherwise i really dun think i can stay here very long. Thank God i can remember these things in spite of my horrible memory =)