I'm starting to wonder if i've bitten off more than i can chew this holidays. Somehow i've been loaded with pretty heavy responsibilities for both mission trips. Thought that being a first-timer would earn me some 'sit-back-and-look-at-things' time on the cambodia trip. Somehow or other, ended up being programme coord on both trips...wonder how that happened. Tried to siam in vain.

School's pretty stressful in spite of no students. Everyday i feel lethargy thinking of my work. Can't seem to get things moving. Somehow, i'm able to find many other small things that need to be done and end up not doing the big stuff i'm avoiding. many deadlines this fri and next.

Anyways, on the whole, i still think i rather be in this present state, than teaching during term time. The students really wear me out. Next year, there's gonna be plenty of changes. AGAIN! Sigh... how come other new schools seem to get established so much faster? Everyone else i know in new schools elsewhere seem to have settled down leh...

On a different note, have you ever experienced being praised by someone whom you don't really like? May not be someone you dislike, just dun really lurve lah.. Dun really know what to make of it. It's this i.... teacher in my school. Dunno what position he's supposed to have. Dunno if he's a Head of some sort or a normal teacher. Had a meeting with a team of colleagues, including him. Was a long 3 hour meeting. I haven't had much contact with him. In fact, he doesn't even know my name. Not even sure if he even realised my existence, cos i'm pretty low-key and certain ppl are the sort who don't bother with the sesame-seed-green-bean ppl... Anyway, it was almost as if it took him that meeting to see me in a different light. Every comment i made would make him either look at me appraisingly or make a remark like, "Good point!" or something to that effect. After about three quarters of the way thru, he finally deigned to ask me my name. hmph. Towards the end of the meeting, he commented on my brain. Said i had a critical and analytical mind and that that was good for teaching humanities. Guess which subject he teaches? Anyway, can't figure if it was all a farce to trick me into joining his department.

From that meeting, i also realised that it seems my body language is pretty apparent. So much so that it's scary. Why do i say so? Because at some point of the meeting, this guy left to attend to something. So the rest of us continued with the report we had to come up with. When he returned some time later, he wanted to go thru what we had already completed. What's more, after he had gone thru that, he wanted to make amendments to our efforts. That kinda pissed me off somewhat cos that was just prolonging the already-long meeting. Started thinking he shouldn't have gone off if that's the case. Also, he was amending the report to make it sound diplomatic and slightly off the mark. I felt that it was more important to be honest. After all, this was supposed to be our reflection of our feedback and thoughts. So the clearer and more precise the better. There shouldn't have to be any compromise in honesty if we want to change the system for the better. Well, in any case he was so insistent we had no choice. Obliged unobligingly. I tried to disagree but to no avail. All this while, i was standing just behind the leader who was typing notes directly into the comp. When i realised arguing with this guy was no use, not being able to voice my frustration, i went back to my seat. It was almost like a silent protest. To my surprise, he actually noticed that and guessed correctly that i was unhappy. Tried to call me back, saying that my ideas were valued. Yeah, right. Just said i was tired and needed to sit down after all that standing. Lucky for me, my long-time jc fren cum colleague backed me up.

There's something about these i....s. They seem to love having contact. When a colleague went to the restroom for a moment, he came over and sat beside me, very close. I had to balance myself on the edge of MY chair...away from him. At some point of time, he even leaned over and touched my arm.　Arrgh!!! Fed-up. What's with them??

Must go get myself an armor.. or i-repellent...hmm...