I've thought about it, although I tried hard not to. But I guess it's only human to want to make sense of things that happen to and around us. Now, a lot of things make a lot more sense. Now I know why you acted the way you do and why you were different from previous times. It's not because you're stronger. I don't know if you're deliberately lying or whether you're in denial. No matter how right you think it feels, it doesn't change the fact that you have become a person who doesn't keep your word. And for that, I no longer respect you.

Perhaps you have a short memory. Or maybe just a selective one. Just too bad for you, I took what you said seriously, things you apparently forgot when the circumstances suited you. And when I see your actions contradict your words, I am disappointed. Disappointed because I trusted you so much. Disappointed in myself for not keeping the guard I had up in the beginning but did not have the fortitude to let it stay up. Because of your persistence, I allowed the guard to come down little by little. I thought you were different from the other people I knew. Now, I know....there is no difference. Nevertheless, as in all things, there are lessons to learn. Thank you for teaching me that only God is constant, only God does not change his mind, only God keeps the promises He makes all the time, and only God is totally and always trustworthy. Not even a fraction can be said the same for man. Not one. And definitely not you.

I remember what Auntie Annette said. Many times christians look up to other christians or to man. And when they don't meet their expectations, they become disappointed with God because His people did not show themselves to be godly and trustworthy stewards. Hence, because of these christians, they fall away, bitter and disappointed. I'm daily reminding myself not to make this same mistake. Because if I were to be like these people, looking up to other christians around, I'd drop out of church because people like you would have marred my perception of what christians ought to be. But I won't. Because up to now, God has not failed me and I know He would never. But I don't think I could ever look you in the eye and have the same high regard for you as I once did.