An old friend caught up with me yesterday. I can't even remember when was the last time we had our last contact. But I do remember two distinct occasions in the past. That must have been more than a decade ago.

The first time this friend visited was when I was in primary school. I remember I had a bout of illness which eventually landed me in hospital for a week or so. I can't remember what the problem was, but I do remember going to the bathroom while I was at home and then suddenly feeling dizzy and before I knew it, I blacked out and in falling, hit the bathtub with a loud bang. Think this was what sent someone running to the bathroom to find me in a heap.

The second time this friend came avisiting was when I was in secondary school. I remember we were doing this (spastic) horseshoe formation for girl guides (yes i was a girl guide...cut the sniggering out man!) and it was super hot. Like I-can-so-cook-an-egg-on-anyone's-head hot. And we had to stand still for an infinite amount of time, while wearing our stupid uniform AND hat. I tell you, it was just asking for trouble lah. After like 2 hours in the sun and wearing things which do not allow perspiration to escape into the atmosphere for evaporation, I started seeing stars.

Perhaps from that second visit till now, my old friend visited me during that long interval, but honestly I cannot remember. But in spite of not being able to remember which other time this old friend might have come to visit, one thing is vivid however. I can always remember the visit itself.

I went running on friday evening. Thought I'd squeeze in a run just before going to church for music practice. The last run I did outdoors was barely a week ago. Did about 5 km, along the mrt line and then back, taking about 30min to complete. I was eager to beat or at least match that previous record. And so I set off at a good pace. All felt well. I was going at a consistent pace. Then about a km down the line, the traffic lights were not in my favour as before. So I stopped to wait for the lights to change. But soon as I stopped, a sick feeling swept over me. Almost as if it was running behind me all this while and only just caught up as I stopped.

It was a really strange feeling. Strange yet sickeningly familiar. The first sensation I was aware of, was this sudden deafness. It was as if someone had switched off my hearing, first in one ear, then the other. And then would come this faint buzzing in the ear that just got louder and louder. Then before you can get over this weird sensation, you suddenly become aware that there's something not quite right with your vision either. It's as if someone switched your tv for a black-and-white one. And then after a while, if it isn't bad enough your tv got swapped, your vision starts to blur and go haywire.

The past two times this old friend came, I was with people I knew. This time however, I was alone. Standing at a crowded junction with a bunch of strangers. I refused to show that anything was wrong. I cannot remember ever concentrating this hard on staying conscious. I told myself there was no way I was going to collapse on the street. In that 10 seconds or so which ensued, it felt like a battle of wills. Mine against my old friend's. All that traffic sound around didn't help. It sounded as if many alarm bells and horns were going off and rebounding in my head. Everything was SO loud! And NOISY! It was all I could do to keep from flinching. The sounds were so loud, it felt almost like physical blows.

I don't know how I even managed to follow the other pedestrians across the road. In that time, I felt like I had gone into a trance and I had gone into a different dimension. How do I explain this? It's like...I was super keenly aware of a lot of things around me and yet I wasn't aware of what was going on actually. At some point of time, while I was in the middle of the road, I suddenly snapped out of my 'trance' and became aware of where I was and what I was doing. I was surprised to see I had even made it across the road. How did I manage to see the green man and instructed my legs to move?? I really don't know. After my senses returned, all I was aware of then was my cold, clammy skin. I didn't trust myself to walk very much more. So I rested at the bus stop, tried to grit my teeth and push myself on to slow jog to the next bus stop. But I only jogged for a while more before eventually slowing to a walk. I was afraid I'd really faint. Who knows if anyone would even bring me home?? So in the end, I just walked really slowly for about 2km, back home.

So scary. Wonder why my old friend is back. After so long. I never even knew why he visits in the first place.