The Thursday which has just flown past, was one which ended rather on a low note. It saw me bouncing happily to school, having enjoyed a long break from the tortures of work, then closed with a somewhat dismal me, deflated by news of the class I am to be mother to in the year to come (should I stay that long).

In 2008, I am to be form teacher to a sec 3 class in which almost all the 'trouble-makers' from sec 2 this year (read: those who have been shuttled in and out of the Principal's office) PLUS the retainees (read: those who have been shuttled in and out of the Principal's office AND the police station) from this year's sec 3 classes, have been lumped together in. That's quite a large proportion of the class. This class is also the tail-end of the express stream, which is usually the one of the classes that gives the most problems. Sigh. When I first looked at the class list and realised which students were in that class, I couldn't help but feel this wave of negativity and dismay wash over me. I just felt, overwhelmed, you know? Just felt tired from simply looking at that list, tired even before having to take over the class because I could imagine what things might well be like and how the class would take the energy out of me. Call me a pessimist if you like, I just don't think it's going to be easy. I've always been given tail-end classes since I came into teaching. I ought to be used to it. I don't know why I'm even making a deal out of this. Maybe I just miss my previous form class. Or maybe I've been in teaching too long and taking difficult-to-manage classes year after year without cease just tires me out and demoralises me. Or maybe I'm just too negative and easily demoralised. I dunno.

Later that same day, we played a game. One in which all of us were given a label and told to wear on our foreheads. We could see everyone else's label except our own. People were wearing things like 'Be angry with me', 'Ignore everything I say', 'I'm a liar' etc... and we were supposed to treat the other people accordingly. Honestly, I wasn't very into the game, because I was still suffering the after-effects of the news of class allocation. But I did learn something from that experience.

I'm trying very hard to psych myself up to meet the challenge. I admit though, that I am very reluctant. But I am trying to change that. To remind myself that all things happen for a reason and that if God allowed it, He must have something in store for me to learn and to grow from. To trust that God will give me the strength that I need to deal with difficult situations. And to remember to commit myself, as well as my dealings with each class and every student, to Him. I need to be mindful about not 'labelling' these students and not to treat them according to their 'reputation' from previous years. I will tell them that I'm wiping the slate clean, and hope that they will want things to be different in the new year. And then I can only pray that God will give me the wisdom to handle them with love, even when the going gets tough. I guess that's all I can do now really, rely on God. Just like the period of time I fervently prayed each morning as I drove to school because I dreaded dealing with a particular class. I'm so glad I will always have hope and comfort in every circumstance life deals out. I'm so glad I have God =)