2007 was...difficult.

I started the year on an emotional downward spiral. The start of the year also saw me at my lightest and thinnest, as with all the other times I was unhappy.

2007 was also the one year both my close friends were far away, serving God in a different land. Perhaps I had gotten too reliant on them. Suddenly I found myself doing everything alone. Buying groceries, having dinner, jogging, swimming, shopping......things I used to enjoy doing in my free time, I no longer enjoyed them quite as much. Although I must say that they were, nonetheless, a welcome break from the rest of the stuff my life was filled with.

CG for me had stopped by then because half my CG was no longer in the country, while the only other member of the CG was preparing to get married.

2007 was a year filled with weddings to attend, too many, in fact. Attended close to 10 weddings over the year, but those I really wanted to attend were few and in between.

Work was also more than its usual dose of challenge, both in terms of workload and students. As with other years, I was all maxed out in terms of the number of English classes I could take. But unlike previous years, 2007 was the first time I had 3 levels of lesson preparation. 2 out of these 3 classes were graduating N level classes, which meant I was dealing with students who were not quite so motivated and yet were well on the track to major exams. I had more run-ins with recalcitrant and defiant students in 2007 than any other year I remember. I remember being so drained after one particularly challenging confrontation that I just went home, collapsed on my bed and wept till I fell asleep. On top of that, I was the only teacher in charge of my CCA and struggling to take care of both the girls and the boys. (We'd previously only had girls)

But in spite of all these, one thing remains clear and firm. That God is good, and always will be. Just as He brings rainbows and sunshine back after a storm, God is always there in the midst of my trials and tribulations.

Because of the way things were, I slowly learnt how to be alone without being lonely, and to be more comfortable doing things on my own. I've had some fun shopping for household stuff on my own, happily pottering around NTUC and the likes scrounging for sale items and interesting inventions for cleaning the house. (2007 was also the year I acquired my first vacuum cleaner. Heh.) God was also gracious enough to bring new friends into my life, as well as to bring close friends even closer to me. I'm so grateful and thankful for the pillars of support these friends have been to me =) (Thank you C, Ch, G, A, B, E, YP)

BSF has also been such a blessing. I know that only God could have engineered the reappearance of BSF in my life at such an opportune time. Having a consistent bible study being 'forced' upon me during 2007 was really what my soul sorely needed, although its extent I never knew until it was upon me. Ruth was one book that really spoke to me during this period of 'drought' in my life. Week after week, God heaped upon me lessons upon lessons of His providence and goodness. There were so many things to learn that I could hardly keep up. Taking up leadership position in BSF was something I did not plan nor expect. When I was first approached to take up a position, I was so broken at that point of time that I could not see how I could be in any position to lead others. But God did not give up on me. Some weeks passed and I was approached again, but for a different position. Timing made all the difference in the world. I felt more ready to take up the challenge in spite of being in the midst of a season of recuperation. BSF has since been a constant source of blessing, both in terms of lessons learnt as well as in terms of prayer support. True, it has been tiring and draining because it takes up two precious weekdays each week. But I take comfort in the assurance that God will equip and sustain those whom He calls to serve Him.

And so, here ends my reflection on 2007. It may not have started well, but it has ended well. All the more so with an unexpected gift from God. It's true, God knows what's best and right for us, more than we'll ever know it ourselves. Sometimes we think we know what we're like and what's best for us, and we go around on a wild goose chase, looking for what we think will bring us happiness, only to find that it's not really what we needed after all. And actually all we needed to do was to stop looking and to trust God to provide it in His time. An irony isn't it? That we only find something when we stop looking for it? Nevertheless, I thank God for the gift. An unexpected one, but no less precious to me=)